That is my question to you all?! How do you NOT be OCD? Obviously that is my problem and it always has been and it is not a very good thing when you are married and have kids.....it just doesn't work well. This is how I am: I am a perfectionist and I like things clean and in it's place at all times; I like things done right and after you make a mess, clean it up and don't leave anything out; put your things away right away; if someone asks you to do something.....DO IT and don't procrastinate; be on time; have things ready for whatever situation; know what your kids are doing at all times and watch your kids and don't let them wonder around the neighborhood or wherever else; clean your kids up and make them look presentable wherever you may go; don't leave things out for your kids to eat or use to destroy your house or to choke to death on; teach your kids respect and obedience!
Yes...I know I am a little Over the TOP. I feel bad because I have a hard time trying to relax and enjoying the little things! I am constantly at my kids to pick up their crap, or to not make a mess or to keep their food in their mouth and don't make a mess on the table with their food and not to spill, to do as I ask the first time to be nice to each other....or not to loose their toys (because they can't sleep without it), or to not talk and interrupt when someone else is talking. I am having a hard time with it all and I make myself sick over it lately. Then I have a hard time when all day I pick up after my kids, and then my husband comes home and he leaves stuff out and I have to pick up his crap and he tells me not to treat him as a child....but then I tell him to act like an adult and take care of his crap so I don't because it frustrates me even worse. There is no medium around here! So I don't know what to do because I am so OCD and I like a clean house and I hate crap out and just laying out, it drives me IN SANE!
So if any of you have any suggestions...... (other than....some therapy...cause that is where i need to go...).....
Thanks!
5 comments:
my sister is similar, she too has three little kids. She told me that one day she just made a conscious decision to "surrender to motherhood" I don't know how she did it, but she just did and even though she still cleans regularly, and gets after her kids, she is much more lax and just sits back and enjoys. I hope I can one day "surrender to motherhood"
I would suggest to just let things go one at a time. Pick one thing that you could let go. After a while, it becomes easier and then you can let another go until you have a nice balance. It is good to be a little over the top I think, but you need find a balance so you don't make yourself sick.
A close friend of ours was recently in a really really bad accident that was very life threatening and fortunately, he is expected to be okay but the next several weeks will be a struggle for them both physically and financially. After spending a lot of time thinking about this, I came across a few thoughts from someone I admire. Life is sooo fragile. We just never know. So, like that quote from Paul Cardall, Live life today! because we just never know. Hold our babies a little closer, kiss our husbands more often. Don't stress about the insignificant. Trust in the Lord. Say I love you to everyone that you do. Let the house get dirty while you play with your kids. Prioritize what is really important. Because with all my thoughts about trials, one thing I know is that they will come. That is inevitable. So just be happy, and live in the now. Tomorrow will come, and we will have to face what comes, but make the most of today!!!
When I was younger I thought my mom cared more about the house being cleaning than for me and my siblings. I know it's not true now but I don't want my kids and husband to think that anything is more important than their happiness and well being. I am the opposite of you and my mom. I hate cleaning so I put it off and sometimes the house is a disaster area, which is not good either.
One thing I have learned is that you have to pick your battles. Somethings, although they may bug you, just are not worth the fight. For example, I have learned that it just isn't worth the fight everyday to get my kids hair done perfectly or if their clothes match exactly. If we are going to church or somewhere nice, I like that have their hair done and matching clothes on. But just for everyday, Addi can pick her outfit (even if it really doesn't match) and I comb through their hair, but it doesn't have to be done nice. To me, some things when you stop and think about it, really just don't matter. Pick a few things that you really really care about, and let go of the rest one by one. And remember kids are kids, and your kids really are better than average!
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